For all that I am a great advocate of humanity and make a big fuss over people's individual uniqueness--the visit to Auschwitz being my great epiphany on the value of life--lately I had been growing a bit cynical in regards to some people that surround me.
Some of my friends, those closer to my heart, behaved in ways that both hurt and betrayed my trust in them. None of them did it on purpose, and I am sure, part of the misunderstandings were also my fault.
Yet I was so dissillusioned by the turn of events, that I withdrew myself from their company and decided they were not "worthy" of my time and friendship.
Needless to say, the light in my life grew a little bit dimmer; for when we shut the door to leave the world out, part of the beauty of living stays out as well.
During that time I befriended a young musician, and his presence in my life brought back the sunshine, chasing all my shadows away. Perhaps the one significant element of this friendship was the knowledge of its imminent culmination. Every moment together was fleetingly precious--here for an instant, gone in the next interval.
It made me realize, thankfully not to late, that I don't have time to hold a grudge against someone who I think did me wrong. When all is said and done, the things that matter are not who was right or not, not who was to blame. Very much the way a man who has only 3 more months to live, would hardly make an issue of a mere triviality, when time is running out.
So often we leave to the end the words we should say at the beginning. Many times we never get to say them. Too often we think ourselves immortal, and we leave for after, the things that should be done now. But what if there was no after? what if this moment is all we had? what if this is the last time we could say the words we never say? wouldn't we say them? Perhaps even shout them from the rooftops, so that those whom we love will not have the shadow of a doubt that they are important to us!
This happy revelation came to me thanks to the time spent with this wonderful friend of mine, who means the world to me! :)
Because our time on earth is transitory, I want you to know that I love you!
PS: to Nell, KRJ, and Johnny M.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
When we were little
When I went to visit my folks in May, I got a few photos of when we were little that I would like to share with you all
So, here's a visit to Uruguay, 1982. Juan is older than me by a year and three months. I was born in Ecuador, but my parents left a month after I was born. My brother Pablo was also born in Ecuador--and same thing, after a month or so we left again.
We traveled a lot during my first four years: Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Brazil, Chile, Argentina and Uruguay. I don't remember much of that. I remember Brazil because we camped out for a while. I remember quite vividly traveling in the back of a truck in Bolivia, with lots of cholos (refers to people with various amounts of Amerindian racial ancestry) Apparently the train tracks got messed up with a flood, and only a truck could go in that kind of terrain. I remember it was crowed and there were animals--because cholos travel with their animals all over the place. My mom says we kids looked like little refugees, all stained with dust and wet from the rain.
So this is a picture of a Bolivian market place
traditional clothing of cholo women
I don't think I ever learned any word in Quechua, except for thank you: Diuspagarapusunki
Then Sofia was born in Bolivia, and we decided to settle down for a while...between Cochabamba and La Paz, where Marcos was born
When I was 7 we moved to Santiago, Chile and Daniel was born there. Here is a photo of us performing at a school. I'm the one in the pink dress
We stayed in Chile for a year, and then when I was 8 we moved to Uruguay.
Susi was born there, two years later. Uruguay was fun because my grandparents lived there, and we got to experience having grandparents for the first time in our lives.
After Uruguay, we moved to Paraguay. In Paraguay people speak Guarani, this is how you say God bless you: Ñande Yara ta nde rovasá (that's the only thing i know how to say). Actually my mom was born in a part of Argentina where people speak Guarani, but she forgot it when she moved to Buenos Aires. Well, Andy was born in Paraguay. And when he was still a newborn we moved to Argentina. I was 12, and I loved Argentina--the people, the culture, the climate, everything about Argentina was wonderful! But we were there for a year and a half and then we went all the way up to Ecuador. Cristina and Vanessa were born there and it was our home for 5 years.
Juan was with us for a while, but went to Brazil the last year we were in Ecuador.
We then moved to Chile.
In 2001 we moved to Italy. As you can imagine, I have lots of stories to tell, of places and people and what they eat, and the animals, the exotic fruits, and the traditions of each country I've been to. When I was young it was difficult for me to always be traveling. But now I'm quite thankful for the original upbriging I had. And of course my parents are incredible people! I am most thankful for them!
So, here's a visit to Uruguay, 1982. Juan is older than me by a year and three months. I was born in Ecuador, but my parents left a month after I was born. My brother Pablo was also born in Ecuador--and same thing, after a month or so we left again.
We traveled a lot during my first four years: Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Brazil, Chile, Argentina and Uruguay. I don't remember much of that. I remember Brazil because we camped out for a while. I remember quite vividly traveling in the back of a truck in Bolivia, with lots of cholos (refers to people with various amounts of Amerindian racial ancestry) Apparently the train tracks got messed up with a flood, and only a truck could go in that kind of terrain. I remember it was crowed and there were animals--because cholos travel with their animals all over the place. My mom says we kids looked like little refugees, all stained with dust and wet from the rain.
So this is a picture of a Bolivian market place
traditional clothing of cholo women
I don't think I ever learned any word in Quechua, except for thank you: Diuspagarapusunki
Then Sofia was born in Bolivia, and we decided to settle down for a while...between Cochabamba and La Paz, where Marcos was born
When I was 7 we moved to Santiago, Chile and Daniel was born there. Here is a photo of us performing at a school. I'm the one in the pink dress
We stayed in Chile for a year, and then when I was 8 we moved to Uruguay.
Susi was born there, two years later. Uruguay was fun because my grandparents lived there, and we got to experience having grandparents for the first time in our lives.
After Uruguay, we moved to Paraguay. In Paraguay people speak Guarani, this is how you say God bless you: Ñande Yara ta nde rovasá (that's the only thing i know how to say). Actually my mom was born in a part of Argentina where people speak Guarani, but she forgot it when she moved to Buenos Aires. Well, Andy was born in Paraguay. And when he was still a newborn we moved to Argentina. I was 12, and I loved Argentina--the people, the culture, the climate, everything about Argentina was wonderful! But we were there for a year and a half and then we went all the way up to Ecuador. Cristina and Vanessa were born there and it was our home for 5 years.
Juan was with us for a while, but went to Brazil the last year we were in Ecuador.
We then moved to Chile.
In 2001 we moved to Italy. As you can imagine, I have lots of stories to tell, of places and people and what they eat, and the animals, the exotic fruits, and the traditions of each country I've been to. When I was young it was difficult for me to always be traveling. But now I'm quite thankful for the original upbriging I had. And of course my parents are incredible people! I am most thankful for them!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
To Vanessa on her 14th birthday
Vanessa, today is your birthday. There are so many things I want to tell you, but most of all I want you to know that I love you!
It almost seems yesterday that you came into our lives, 14 years ago. You are and have always been a terrific girl! You have determination, you are generous, and you easily welcome people into your life.
You are caring and understanding, and make people feel loved and safe.
You are unselfish--that's a wonderful quality of yours.
I could just go on and on about the traits that you posess, and how incredible you are!
Here's a little list of older-sister advise for you:
1.Life will never be easy, but you must follow your heart.
2.Your dreams are important, don't ignore them.
3.Living for others is a reward in itself--live in such a way that you will make other lives better.
4.Don't be afraid to try new things. It's okay to fail as long as you keep trying.
5.When you get to the end of yourself, that's when God starts.
6.Don't hurry to grow up, life is not a race--enjoy the little things.
7.You might not find your mission in life right away--but the journey is part of the adventure.
8.Mom's prayers work wonders--rely on that power :D
9.Don't be so severe with yourself, learn to take it easy.
10.Don't get frustrated with people because they are slower or faster than you. Everyone is different, appreciate their uniqueness!
11.When all seems lost, love will come to the rescue. Love will be your keeper.
12.You can't chase happiness, but you can create the conditions for happiness to find you.
13.Our hearts are like gardens, we must tend to them.
14.Love is manisfested in the details.
I haven't been around much of your life--you were in your first year of school when I left to start a new life in the service of others. It hasn't been easy giving up being there for you. I know it wasn't easy for you either, to have to say goodbye over and over.
And yet, everything I've done, all the choices I've made in my life have been for all of us. Because I wanted to "pave the way", for you to follow.
I wanted to prove that we can bring light and hope into the world and make a difference--and I've found out we can.
I wouldn't have been able to do anything, without you, my family, backing me up on this. It was you guys who kept the flame alive.
It was your sacrifice and love that made it possible, and you can say "we were all part of it".
Some day it will be you--and I will be there for you, with you, because I believe you will go on to great things! I'm already proud of you!
Happy birthday dear Vanessa! Love you lots! xoxoxo
It almost seems yesterday that you came into our lives, 14 years ago. You are and have always been a terrific girl! You have determination, you are generous, and you easily welcome people into your life.
You are caring and understanding, and make people feel loved and safe.
You are unselfish--that's a wonderful quality of yours.
I could just go on and on about the traits that you posess, and how incredible you are!
Here's a little list of older-sister advise for you:
1.Life will never be easy, but you must follow your heart.
2.Your dreams are important, don't ignore them.
3.Living for others is a reward in itself--live in such a way that you will make other lives better.
4.Don't be afraid to try new things. It's okay to fail as long as you keep trying.
5.When you get to the end of yourself, that's when God starts.
6.Don't hurry to grow up, life is not a race--enjoy the little things.
7.You might not find your mission in life right away--but the journey is part of the adventure.
8.Mom's prayers work wonders--rely on that power :D
9.Don't be so severe with yourself, learn to take it easy.
10.Don't get frustrated with people because they are slower or faster than you. Everyone is different, appreciate their uniqueness!
11.When all seems lost, love will come to the rescue. Love will be your keeper.
12.You can't chase happiness, but you can create the conditions for happiness to find you.
13.Our hearts are like gardens, we must tend to them.
14.Love is manisfested in the details.
I haven't been around much of your life--you were in your first year of school when I left to start a new life in the service of others. It hasn't been easy giving up being there for you. I know it wasn't easy for you either, to have to say goodbye over and over.
And yet, everything I've done, all the choices I've made in my life have been for all of us. Because I wanted to "pave the way", for you to follow.
I wanted to prove that we can bring light and hope into the world and make a difference--and I've found out we can.
I wouldn't have been able to do anything, without you, my family, backing me up on this. It was you guys who kept the flame alive.
It was your sacrifice and love that made it possible, and you can say "we were all part of it".
Some day it will be you--and I will be there for you, with you, because I believe you will go on to great things! I'm already proud of you!
Happy birthday dear Vanessa! Love you lots! xoxoxo
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
story of a homeless
For my 30th birthday,my little sister Vanessa wrote me an original card listing 30 things she likes about me. Some of the things she put down on that list made me smile--it was interesting to discover myself through the eyes of an thirteen year old girl.
Here are a few of the things she listed:
1: you are always happy
2: you are always helping people.
6: you help me with my English homework
17: you are good with kids
19: you take care of plants
20: you sing for the older people
21: you care about orphans
and next one comes with a story
Number 25th: you have a favorite homeless.
The first day I went to the Magyar-Maltai kitchen for homeless, it was a rainy, cold Friday morning. I was expecting the people that come there to get tea and bread to be poor, but I was not prepared for a culture shock. The sights and smells of drenched clothes, mud, alcohol, dirt and poverty were nauseating.I thought I was going to get sick as I served tea and filled bottles for people who were profusely grateful.
Then I noticed him--he was soaked thru, his hair stood like a pile of hay over his head and his beard was long and unkempt. He didn't thank me or looked at me, he just got his cup and bread and went to sit down with the rest of them. And I continued serving tea.
A week before Christmas, a friend and I went to the threatre to see a violin concert. Someone had given me two tickets and I invited my friend to come with me. We walked to the Threatre Hall and I was telling her about the homeless kitchen and how much I like to help there. I told her that I see the homeless who come over for bread all over the city, but they don't recognize me outside of the kitchen.
The concert was beautiful, we both enjoyed it inmensely! When we came out, it was snowing. We said bye and I took the tram back home alone. The tram was almost empty, I stood by one of the doors, and at the end of the tram there he was standing. He had a thin blue coat, and he carried a pile of newspapers under his arms. He was rubbing his hands as if to warm them. His hands were chapped and full of scabs from the cold.
When I was little I used to get scabs on my hands every winter, because I had would wet my hands and forget to dry them. And my poor hands looked like a little slave's hand all winter long.
I wanted to talk with him, but I thought he wouldn't recognize me and what on earth would I say to someone if I speak only a few words in Hungarian? I ended up not talking with him, but I prayed for him right on the spot. And I continued praying for him every day and whenever I would see him. That's how he became "my homeless"
Whenever he would come around to get bread I would greet him with a smile and say good morning. Then one day he thanked me. The next time he smiled!
Once when Eden came with me, I asked her to ask him if his hands hurt very much. He said they didn't--but I'm sure they did!
I asked Eden later that week if she knew of any hand-lotion I could get for him, and if she thought he might get offended. She suggested to ask in the pharmacy and that she could try to get it.
The next time I saw him, his hair was cut, he was wearing a nice coat, and new shoes. I asked him how he's doing, he smiled and said he was good. And then he disappeared, the weeks passed by, I went for a short trip to Romania, and in all that time he never came around. I still prayed for him, and was hoping to see him, but I didn't, not even out in the street.
In mid-April, I went to the Maltai with a friend. I was helping with the bread and she served the tea. She called me over because someone was asking her something she didn't know about. And there he was, sharp and radiant! At first I didn't recognize him, he looked so different, and he was clean-shaved. He smiled and then I realized who he was! I was so happy to see him, I asked him about his hands, and he held them up for me to see the scabs were gone and they were smooth. He told me he has a job and he is doing good! I was overwhelmed with joy, I almost cried. He waved on the way out and was out the door when I realized I didn't ask him his name.
That same weekend I went to help the Sisters of Charity with their soup-kitchen. He was there, helping too! I finally asked him his name and we talked a little bit as we served and washed plates.
Now, I believe in miracles, I believe in love, I believe in second chances, I believe in wonderful things. I believe prayer changes things, and I believe one can make things better.
But when I first went to help at the Maltai I wasn't expecting miracles. I just wanted to serve, to bring joy, to bring hope, yet fully aware that the world needs more that bandaids and good intentions. I'm not delussional! I know feeding a homeless today will not get him out of the streets. I know teaching an orphan English will not supply his needs for a family. I know that giving someone money will not necessarily solve his problems.
But today I know something else: I know that I met a homeless, who I thought would never be anything but a homeless--and I prayed for him, and I felt his pain, and I believed in him and he rose from the ashes.
Today I know that we can make a difference. Today I believe in miracles, because everyone is a miracle!
Here are a few of the things she listed:
1: you are always happy
2: you are always helping people.
6: you help me with my English homework
17: you are good with kids
19: you take care of plants
20: you sing for the older people
21: you care about orphans
and next one comes with a story
Number 25th: you have a favorite homeless.
The first day I went to the Magyar-Maltai kitchen for homeless, it was a rainy, cold Friday morning. I was expecting the people that come there to get tea and bread to be poor, but I was not prepared for a culture shock. The sights and smells of drenched clothes, mud, alcohol, dirt and poverty were nauseating.I thought I was going to get sick as I served tea and filled bottles for people who were profusely grateful.
Then I noticed him--he was soaked thru, his hair stood like a pile of hay over his head and his beard was long and unkempt. He didn't thank me or looked at me, he just got his cup and bread and went to sit down with the rest of them. And I continued serving tea.
A week before Christmas, a friend and I went to the threatre to see a violin concert. Someone had given me two tickets and I invited my friend to come with me. We walked to the Threatre Hall and I was telling her about the homeless kitchen and how much I like to help there. I told her that I see the homeless who come over for bread all over the city, but they don't recognize me outside of the kitchen.
The concert was beautiful, we both enjoyed it inmensely! When we came out, it was snowing. We said bye and I took the tram back home alone. The tram was almost empty, I stood by one of the doors, and at the end of the tram there he was standing. He had a thin blue coat, and he carried a pile of newspapers under his arms. He was rubbing his hands as if to warm them. His hands were chapped and full of scabs from the cold.
When I was little I used to get scabs on my hands every winter, because I had would wet my hands and forget to dry them. And my poor hands looked like a little slave's hand all winter long.
I wanted to talk with him, but I thought he wouldn't recognize me and what on earth would I say to someone if I speak only a few words in Hungarian? I ended up not talking with him, but I prayed for him right on the spot. And I continued praying for him every day and whenever I would see him. That's how he became "my homeless"
Whenever he would come around to get bread I would greet him with a smile and say good morning. Then one day he thanked me. The next time he smiled!
Once when Eden came with me, I asked her to ask him if his hands hurt very much. He said they didn't--but I'm sure they did!
I asked Eden later that week if she knew of any hand-lotion I could get for him, and if she thought he might get offended. She suggested to ask in the pharmacy and that she could try to get it.
The next time I saw him, his hair was cut, he was wearing a nice coat, and new shoes. I asked him how he's doing, he smiled and said he was good. And then he disappeared, the weeks passed by, I went for a short trip to Romania, and in all that time he never came around. I still prayed for him, and was hoping to see him, but I didn't, not even out in the street.
In mid-April, I went to the Maltai with a friend. I was helping with the bread and she served the tea. She called me over because someone was asking her something she didn't know about. And there he was, sharp and radiant! At first I didn't recognize him, he looked so different, and he was clean-shaved. He smiled and then I realized who he was! I was so happy to see him, I asked him about his hands, and he held them up for me to see the scabs were gone and they were smooth. He told me he has a job and he is doing good! I was overwhelmed with joy, I almost cried. He waved on the way out and was out the door when I realized I didn't ask him his name.
That same weekend I went to help the Sisters of Charity with their soup-kitchen. He was there, helping too! I finally asked him his name and we talked a little bit as we served and washed plates.
Now, I believe in miracles, I believe in love, I believe in second chances, I believe in wonderful things. I believe prayer changes things, and I believe one can make things better.
But when I first went to help at the Maltai I wasn't expecting miracles. I just wanted to serve, to bring joy, to bring hope, yet fully aware that the world needs more that bandaids and good intentions. I'm not delussional! I know feeding a homeless today will not get him out of the streets. I know teaching an orphan English will not supply his needs for a family. I know that giving someone money will not necessarily solve his problems.
But today I know something else: I know that I met a homeless, who I thought would never be anything but a homeless--and I prayed for him, and I felt his pain, and I believed in him and he rose from the ashes.
Today I know that we can make a difference. Today I believe in miracles, because everyone is a miracle!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Post the Love
It was a typical Thursday evening, I had gone to the orphanage in the afternoon to sing with the girls and had made it home later than usual. Eden and I normally do something together in the evenings, sometimes we talk, we read, she bakes and I clean, or we watch something.
That evening we decided to watch a movie together, we went online and found "Dear John"--and since we hadn't seen it and it had the girl from "Mamma Mia" we took off our shoes, arranged the pillows and soon we were both absorbed in the story. To say we liked it, is an understatement! We loved it! We watched it over and over and went to the cinema to watch it, after we had seen it at least 5 times by then.
We went online to read up on Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum--and it was then that we discovered "Post the Love", which is a site created by Channig Tatum, these are his own words:
This is a challenge. A challenge to show someone you love them, scream it to the masses, and pass it on. So join us, and post your love.
"Post the Love" is all about friendship, family, community and free-expression! "Post the Love" is about letting others know that you love them! "Post the Love" is about making the world a better place. Post the love and be part of this wonderful love movement!
"And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." -- Marianne Williamson
That evening we decided to watch a movie together, we went online and found "Dear John"--and since we hadn't seen it and it had the girl from "Mamma Mia" we took off our shoes, arranged the pillows and soon we were both absorbed in the story. To say we liked it, is an understatement! We loved it! We watched it over and over and went to the cinema to watch it, after we had seen it at least 5 times by then.
We went online to read up on Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum--and it was then that we discovered "Post the Love", which is a site created by Channig Tatum, these are his own words:
This is a challenge. A challenge to show someone you love them, scream it to the masses, and pass it on. So join us, and post your love.
"Post the Love" is all about friendship, family, community and free-expression! "Post the Love" is about letting others know that you love them! "Post the Love" is about making the world a better place. Post the love and be part of this wonderful love movement!
"And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." -- Marianne Williamson
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Celebrate life!!!
I have both a brother and a sister who were born in May, like me. It's quite something to have three Tauruses in the family--even when they are as different as we are. We have some personality traits in common: stubborness, being practical, enjoying the good life, to name a few.
Marco is stable, dependable and hard-working. Sofia is ethereal, she's an artist. And I'm the dreamer, the idealist, the missionary.
For my birthday a few of my friends on facebook dedicated me a song each. One of them dedicated "Celebrate Life" from Axel Fernando, an Argentine singer--first time ever I heard that song. I liked so much--the lyrics are fantastic, expresses the choices in life one should make. In turn I want to dedicate this song to Marco and Sofia with all my love and the prayer that this will be a wonderful year for them. That they will enjoy each moment and each experience life will bring along.
I don’t know if I was dreaming,
I don’t know if I was sleeping,
And the voice of an angel
Said to tell you:
Celebrate life.
Think freely,
Help everyone,
And for what you want
Fight and be patient.
Carry a light load
Don’t hold on to anything
Because in this world
Nothing is forever.
Look for a star
To be your guide,
Hurt no one
Spread joy.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Because nothing is saved
Everything is shared.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Second by second and every day.
If someone betrays you
When they say “I love you,”
Put more wood in the fire
And start over.
Don’t allow your dreams
To fall to the ground
The more you love
The closer the sky is.
Shout against hatred
Against lies,
Because war is death,
And peace is life.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Because nothing is saved
Everything is shared.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Second by second.
I don’t know if I was dreaming,
I don’t know if I was sleeping,
And the voice of an angel
Said to tell you:
Celebrate life, celebrate life
And leave in the earth your best seed
Celebrate life, celebrate life
Which is much more beautiful when you look at me.
Marco is stable, dependable and hard-working. Sofia is ethereal, she's an artist. And I'm the dreamer, the idealist, the missionary.
For my birthday a few of my friends on facebook dedicated me a song each. One of them dedicated "Celebrate Life" from Axel Fernando, an Argentine singer--first time ever I heard that song. I liked so much--the lyrics are fantastic, expresses the choices in life one should make. In turn I want to dedicate this song to Marco and Sofia with all my love and the prayer that this will be a wonderful year for them. That they will enjoy each moment and each experience life will bring along.
I don’t know if I was dreaming,
I don’t know if I was sleeping,
And the voice of an angel
Said to tell you:
Celebrate life.
Think freely,
Help everyone,
And for what you want
Fight and be patient.
Carry a light load
Don’t hold on to anything
Because in this world
Nothing is forever.
Look for a star
To be your guide,
Hurt no one
Spread joy.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Because nothing is saved
Everything is shared.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Second by second and every day.
If someone betrays you
When they say “I love you,”
Put more wood in the fire
And start over.
Don’t allow your dreams
To fall to the ground
The more you love
The closer the sky is.
Shout against hatred
Against lies,
Because war is death,
And peace is life.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Because nothing is saved
Everything is shared.
Celebrate life, celebrate life,
Second by second.
I don’t know if I was dreaming,
I don’t know if I was sleeping,
And the voice of an angel
Said to tell you:
Celebrate life, celebrate life
And leave in the earth your best seed
Celebrate life, celebrate life
Which is much more beautiful when you look at me.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
When all you need is love
I will never forget it--it was my birthday a few years back, and I had come to the end of myself; at the moment it felt I wouldn't be able to make it thru another minute of my life.
Looking back, now that time has healed everything, it seems quite silly--but back then, having my boyfriend tell me he didn't love me anymore, felt like having the whole world come tumbling over and crushing me.
He said that he had been doing some thinking--that he was sorry, but he didn't feel the same way he used to; that he didn't want to hurt me but it was over between us.
I had no idea--I was so sure of his love for me. I thought this was it! This time it was the real thing and we were living the dream of love.
He said we could be friends--but I couldn't because I loved him like I've never loved before and I didn't want to be just friends.
Soon after he told me he was in love with my best friend and he hoped I would be able to help to get them together. He said his feelings for her were so strong, and he knew they were meant to be. And I really don't know how I managed to sit there and have him convince me that I should help him get the girl of his dreams.
Because we worked together, we saw each other and every day was worse that the one before. Not a day would pass by that I wouldn't hide in some corner to cry all my dissappointments away, suffering the pain of loss and rejection.
We were going to go to another city to do a program for children and bring clothes and shoes. We had been planning this trip for a while and we were both part of the team--I would have given anything to be able to back out and not go. But I had to go; so I put my best face, tried to be strong and fake the smiles and the laughter, for the children's sake.
It was right on my birthday--and I just knew that this would be the worse day of my life!
We went to visit a home for handicapped children. All of us stood at the door, as the director showed us into a living room where some kids were sitting waiting for us. The door on the other end opened and some more kids came in, and then from behind a little girl with bangs and sweet brown eyes, came running in. She rushed from the other side of the room, straight into my arms. Instinctively I caught her and swept her up into a hug, as she rested her head on my shoulder.
This little angel, who had never seen me in her life, spotted me out of the crowd and jumped into my arms--to remind me that love is there when you need it the most.
That one little act of love turned what started as a miserable day, into one of the happiest birthdays of my life. There's a song by the Beatles that says
"All you need is love"--how true!
Looking back, now that time has healed everything, it seems quite silly--but back then, having my boyfriend tell me he didn't love me anymore, felt like having the whole world come tumbling over and crushing me.
He said that he had been doing some thinking--that he was sorry, but he didn't feel the same way he used to; that he didn't want to hurt me but it was over between us.
I had no idea--I was so sure of his love for me. I thought this was it! This time it was the real thing and we were living the dream of love.
He said we could be friends--but I couldn't because I loved him like I've never loved before and I didn't want to be just friends.
Soon after he told me he was in love with my best friend and he hoped I would be able to help to get them together. He said his feelings for her were so strong, and he knew they were meant to be. And I really don't know how I managed to sit there and have him convince me that I should help him get the girl of his dreams.
Because we worked together, we saw each other and every day was worse that the one before. Not a day would pass by that I wouldn't hide in some corner to cry all my dissappointments away, suffering the pain of loss and rejection.
We were going to go to another city to do a program for children and bring clothes and shoes. We had been planning this trip for a while and we were both part of the team--I would have given anything to be able to back out and not go. But I had to go; so I put my best face, tried to be strong and fake the smiles and the laughter, for the children's sake.
It was right on my birthday--and I just knew that this would be the worse day of my life!
We went to visit a home for handicapped children. All of us stood at the door, as the director showed us into a living room where some kids were sitting waiting for us. The door on the other end opened and some more kids came in, and then from behind a little girl with bangs and sweet brown eyes, came running in. She rushed from the other side of the room, straight into my arms. Instinctively I caught her and swept her up into a hug, as she rested her head on my shoulder.
This little angel, who had never seen me in her life, spotted me out of the crowd and jumped into my arms--to remind me that love is there when you need it the most.
That one little act of love turned what started as a miserable day, into one of the happiest birthdays of my life. There's a song by the Beatles that says
"All you need is love"--how true!
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